Hyponothing

I was talkin' to my bass player, Tj, on the drive home from Marty's yesterday morn after an awesome night of revelry at the bar in Hot Springs. (Sweet H graciously granted a much needed kitchen pass so long as I was home early enough Sat morn to cook some breakfast for everybody, which I did.) Tj is a big time chiropractor/alternative medicine guy. He's also a prodigiously wise fellow for his age. He's also my old, college guru--the guy that first said, "There's no such thing as a bad trip....if you are the master of your own trip...." and I have had mad respect for him, his opinions, ever since. I listen to his advice when he doles it out.

I was trying to explain to him how good I've been feeling lately as a result of my acute efforts to get healthier and was telling him I almost feel bad around my friends cause I just feel like standing on top of a table and yelling it at the top of my lungs sometimes. I need to temper that desire and also the urge to tell everyone else what they should be doing so they can feel like me. (Make sense?) Well, anyway, I used the thing about "hypomania" as an anecdote to try and convey what I was talking about--about how I go through periods where I feel REALLY good and then other times where I'm just okay(not depressed, just so-so)--and i was saying I'm "hypo" right now.

He cut me off abruptly, even curtly--he does that at times--and severely "cautioned" me not to self-diagnose--not to give "names" to things I'm feeling or experiencing. He said the line about, "You become your diagnosis." I have to admit, it shut me up pretty good, and I've been pondering on it for a good 24 hours now.

Some of the things that have come to mind are like (and this may be stating the obvious--forgive me): the whole reputation I have among my buddies for drinking 97 beers in one sitting (which I'm desperately trying to cast off); over-exaggerating (My dad told me a million times not to exaggerate. Couldn't resist.); the "hypo" thing I mentioned; being a former (and constantly tempted) cig-smoker; fantasy sports management and Braves fanaticism (important stuff); Matt the writer/tennis player/teacher; Matt the "Healer" (Myers-Briggs personality test thingy). Those are just a few.

I thought you might think this was valuable advice too. I know I'm guilty of the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing. Everybody is really. But just don't call it that from now on. Just be, man.

Beautiful part about it all is, in the words of another ole buddy, Nico, "All we got is time, mon ami. All we got is Time." Time to get better. Let's do it, yo?

A Window Into My Classroom

The following blog is the most recent post from my English Lit class blog, Senior English. I thought some of my readers at Dirt Bombs might enjoy it. There's a link to my class blog on the sidebar if you're interested in reading more. Have a nice day.

That's Wyrd

I did a little research on the Old English, Anglo-Saxon concept of the wyrd. Simply put, it is most easily defined as a notion of "personal destiny" or fate. The word wyrd derives specifically from an old Germanic word and has cognates in ancient languages spanning from regions all across Europe, Central Asia, and all the way to northern India that date back to the Copper Age in the 5th and 4th millennia BC (5000-4000 BC). So this notion of a personal destiny runs deep in the blood and spirit of humanity.

What fascinates me the most, in the context of this course, is the collision between Christianity and personal fate on the British Isles during the Roman Empire. In the literature that you are reading right now, you can see how the monks embraced the notion of fate. After all, they would already have had both unconscious/subconscious and intellectual/academic exposure to the notion. But from what I can tell in my own reading, they saw it as the best avenue into the spiritual concerns of the "natives" of the lands that they conquered. As I said in class, in a world where it was highly likely on any given day that a child could die of sudden illness or a warrior could die in hand to hand combat, this notion of fate was just a matter of fact. Weather very directly affected survivability on a month to month basis. There were constant local battles for resources and security. Nothing was a given. Everything was hard. So if it was your time, it was your time. I don't mean to suggest that people only associate fate with death. It's just one of the most prominent associations that people make.

It seems that when the Roman Empire monks, who came from a much more "civilized" and secure place, picked up on the Anglo-Saxon locals' aforementioned spiritual, practical (and understandable) reliance on the concept of wyrd"ness" they ran with it, and the rest is history. Since then, as far as I can tell from both historical research and personal observation, the concepts of "personal destiny" and the God of Christianity have melted together more and more--to the point that we can observe it in popular American culture ranging from soap operas to politics (and yes that was a clever joke and yes it is sad). As I mentioned in class, I have a hard time accepting that some things are just meant to be--especially when they come from "religious" angles. Was 9/11 unavoidable? Was it predestined by God? That's not for me to answer for you, but I don't mind admitting that I have a hard time accepting it. Did God "kill" my mom with breast cancer when she was in her 40's? Was that divine fate? Maybe so. But I'd rather think of the fate end of it in more modern, scientific terms. She had genes that were more prone to cancer than other, healthier women. Yeah, God may have created those genes. Once again, it's not for me to say in this setting. But I don't mind saying that I don't think God gave her those genes In The Beginning. It just happened. My mom fought a valiant battle against a deadly disease, she contributed to research that has helped many women since survive breast cancer, but in the end, she "ran into a sword." If she'd have lived 5 years longer, they probably would have saved her. It was just wyrd, man. Those firefighters that heroically ran into those buildings trying to save lives and died--that was their personal destiny, and we will always venerate them for it. That's all I know to say.

I hope you will think about these types of things all year long on a deeper level than you have in the past. It's never my intention to "change" your belief system. But I do want you to question it so that it will grow stronger and more sound. This is why we read literature.

See you in class.

Controversy Abounds!

Prompt:

Zygotes have the unequivocal, inherent right to mature into living, human beings--regardless of the circumstances, and impoverished American mothers should be required to have their tubes tied after they give birth to two babies.

Please, discuss.

Obama or Bust

It appears to me as if President Obama's just waiting, like a tiger in the high grass. He can't start too early. And he's got a job to do; he's a little busy. He's waiting patiently and the dude's gonna pounce. And when he does, his people are going to be ready to go with him.

Reagan/Mondale-esque landslide in 2012? An Independent, conservative friend of mine said that to me yesterday. As crazy as that sounds at this point in time-------------just remember where you heard it first. I will, C.D. I don't think it will be a landslide of that magnitude, but I am starting to think the American people are just voicing their valid frustrations with politicians, and he is their whipping boy right now--as he should be as the leader of American politicians. As it gets closer, and Americans begin to face up to the real facts and the real-life choices they are going to have, sensibility and pragmatism are going to prevail. To some, he may be the most accurate incarnation of the "better of two evils" line that we hear so often. To others, he may be the most qualified and noble President they've ever had the opportunity to vote for in an election. I'm with the latter. Regardless, I'm growing more and more optimistic with each passing day.

The more I've thought about this, and the more I'm reading people I have a great deal of respect for, the better I'm starting to feel about everything. At this point. But I never underestimate the power of the Karl Rove-dark side. That's why I'm getting prepared now.

Uncle Matt

I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome my nephew, Matthew, into this wonderful world. My li'l sis had a precious baby boy on August first. All of us who love her and her fantastic husband are bustin' buttons with pride. Especially me. I'm gonna be the best uncle--since ever (to use a line from my favorite new music group). I know I have some tough competition out there.

Take a minute to send some love out to your family today.

I'm a Teacher, man?!

McCourt's memoir Teacher Man is a great read. I blew through it in about 3 sittings. Anyone who wants an unblushingly frank, funny, and heartwarming look at the teaching life should check it out.

For the last two weeks, I've been attending professional development classes, working in my classroom, reading, organizing, despairing and praying in preparation for the school year. It's one of the strangest times every year. I'm well-rested, relaxed. I feel optimistic and hopeful and inspired, determined to attack some weak spots, holes in my repertoire. Then we go to these meetings--these meetings that I describe as soul-sucking meetings--and in about 12, maybe 15 hours, it's as if they try to kill any ingenuity, passion, or motivation that we might have cached away over the summer. I'm positive that this is not any one person's intention or motivation. But these meetings rarely fail and just to be frank, they are excruciating more often than not. Some years, I've had a horrible attitude. I've sat through these things grumbling expletives, fidgeting hot-faced and teetering on the cusp of mental breakdown, cardiac arrest. I tried calling-in well, saying, "I feel entirely too good to come to work today! Doh!" Other years, I've tried getting involved in order to control some of my own destiny--presenting little workshops for my colleagues. I've usurped other workshops, standing to proclaim in front of anyone who would listen that what we were doing was not a valuable use of our time--and that I intended to use my valuable time in a way that was productive. It only took once or twice to learn that these were both bad ideas.

I'm not here this morning to write an expose on professional development in public education. Maybe later. Probably never.

I'm just saying that this year I'm trying yet another mindset: it is what it is. And to use one of my colleague's lines, this is what we do. And so far, it's gotten me through cleaner than any other methodology to date. As a result, it seems as if all I have to do now is make it through 3 hours of "Nuts and Bolts" this morning and I'll be home free. I got this afternoon after lunch and tomorrow in my classroom to do everything I really need to do, and then the kids arrive Monday. I'll close my door and teach and everything will be fine.

Hey, I'm a teacher, man! It's what I do.

The Iron Horse: Lou Gehrig's Farewell Speech

For the last two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans.

Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn't consider it a highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day? Sure, I'm lucky. Who wouldn't have considered it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball's greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy? Sure, I'm lucky.

When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice-versa, sends you a gift--that's something! When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies--that's something! When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter--that's something! When you have a father and mother who work all their lives so you can have an education and build your body--it's a blessing! When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you knew existed--that's the finest I know!

Gehrig died within a year of his retirement from baseball. His speech, one of the finest I know, was pieced together using first hand accounts, brief audio clips and video footage, notes that people scribbled down on the spot. The fans and writers who were sitting in the stands, in attendance on that glorious day, heard what Gehrig said and passed it along.

This is the stuff myths are made of.

Chang vs. Lendl

Volunteer!

A service club I sponsor at Central, Project 10, is going to the Arkansas Rice Depot this morning to do some volunteer work. H, RL, and I are gonna go chaperone and help out too. Should be a fun experience.

Many of my students are devout volunteers, yet too often I'm guilty of overlooking their efforts. From what I can tell, most do regular community service projects. It is heartening to see Little Rock's youth habitually reading to sick patients at Arkansas Children's Hospital, bagging rice to send to Haiti, or tutoring at-risk 2nd graders in after-school programs. These kids are doing it for the right reasons too. Yes, it helps them with college apps and scholarships, but they get it on a deeper level than that. I'm gonna join them today and report back. I think the kids have a lesson to teach me this morning. I'm embarrassed to admit that it's been too long since I've given my time freely for a greater purpose. I'll let you know how it goes soon.

In the meantime, I challenge you to think of things you can do to make your community and world a better place. Get busy--with stuff that matters.

30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000 30,000

For the last couple of days, I can't stop thinking about the men and women in uniform, many of them National Guardsmen and Reserves, who are leaving for Afghanistan this year, their third, fourth tours of combat in under seven years. They're going over there to do a job that many argue can be accomplished with a few CIA operatives, Special Forces units, and drones. Many argue nothing can be accomplished at all for that matter.

When I voted in the last Presidential election, I had hoped I was voting for peace on Earth, revolutionary environmental policy reform, universal health care, education reform. Was I not?

It's complicated, I know--nonviolence, stewardship, compassion. Oh, the humanity!

No... More... Hope.

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act upon them? - Buddha

My friend BC at MTHRBMPR finally got me. Initially a supporter of Obama, he jumped off the train very early on and started railing on the campaign and administration. At the time, it seemed like he was pissing in the ice cream or something. With the benefit of hindsight though, his words just scared me because he is right.

Whatever you do, don't read through his archives.