Doh!

North University:

Chang vs. Lendl

Joke of the Day

Q: How many rhythm guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: They can't do it without their lead guitarist.

Joke of the Day

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One. The guitarist holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.

Joke of the Day

I get a joke of the day on my Google home page.  I needed a laugh today.  

Children's books that didn't make it:

1)  Accidents Happen: The Story of You

2) The Little Sissy Wimp Who Snitched

3) Some Kittens Can Fly

4) You Can Paint Anywhere!

5) Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

6) Bad Katy and the Mom Who Stopped Loving Her 

7)The Attention Deficit

Elizabeth Alexander and Colbert

Elizabeth Alexander and her inaugural poem "Praise Song for the Day"  have been raked across the coals by just about everyone I know and everything I've read.  I was not horrified by her poem.  I even liked it.  She.  could.  have.  done.  a better.  job.  with the.  presentation, sure.  But remember, she was following up Obama's speech.  That's like Jimi Hendrix opening for The Jonas Brothers.  She has fun and even briefly explains what she was doing with the poem in this interview on The Colbert Report.  Check it out.  It's funny. 

Latest Hypotheses and Suggestions

• "Maybe it's the bird flu."
• "Dude, I'm gonna put you down like a lame horse."
• "Do you have that black mold growing in your walls?"
• "Have you considered chemotherapy?"

--MJF

Mr. Head

from "The Artificial Nigger"

by Flannery

"The thing to do with a boy," he said sagely, "is to show him all it is to show. Don't hold nothing back."

--MJF

A Fishing Secret

Game Warden friend of mine was always asking how I catch so many fish.  Finally I said, "Come along with me sometime.  I'll show you."  We made plans and met down at Jolly Rogers Marina early one Sunday morning, loaded up and launched the boat as the sun rose over Pinnacle Mountain.  We motored across to the other side of the lake, under Highway 10, back up Maumelle Creek a little ways where I killed the engine.

He asked, "Is this it?  The secret fishing hole?"  I didn't say anything, just reached down into my tackle box, calmly pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit it and threw it out into the water.  Couple-seconds later that thing said, "ka-WHOOMPH!'  Course the game warden was horrified as dead fish started floating to the surface.  I was trolling around dipping them up with the scoop-net, and he was saying, "You can't do that!  I'm going to have to arrest you!"  I stopped, reached into my tackle box and pulled out another stick of dynamite.  I lit it, handed it to him and said, "Are you going to stand there and talk all day, or you gonna fish?"

--MJF