Hyponothing

I was talkin' to my bass player, Tj, on the drive home from Marty's yesterday morn after an awesome night of revelry at the bar in Hot Springs. (Sweet H graciously granted a much needed kitchen pass so long as I was home early enough Sat morn to cook some breakfast for everybody, which I did.) Tj is a big time chiropractor/alternative medicine guy. He's also a prodigiously wise fellow for his age. He's also my old, college guru--the guy that first said, "There's no such thing as a bad trip....if you are the master of your own trip...." and I have had mad respect for him, his opinions, ever since. I listen to his advice when he doles it out.

I was trying to explain to him how good I've been feeling lately as a result of my acute efforts to get healthier and was telling him I almost feel bad around my friends cause I just feel like standing on top of a table and yelling it at the top of my lungs sometimes. I need to temper that desire and also the urge to tell everyone else what they should be doing so they can feel like me. (Make sense?) Well, anyway, I used the thing about "hypomania" as an anecdote to try and convey what I was talking about--about how I go through periods where I feel REALLY good and then other times where I'm just okay(not depressed, just so-so)--and i was saying I'm "hypo" right now.

He cut me off abruptly, even curtly--he does that at times--and severely "cautioned" me not to self-diagnose--not to give "names" to things I'm feeling or experiencing. He said the line about, "You become your diagnosis." I have to admit, it shut me up pretty good, and I've been pondering on it for a good 24 hours now.

Some of the things that have come to mind are like (and this may be stating the obvious--forgive me): the whole reputation I have among my buddies for drinking 97 beers in one sitting (which I'm desperately trying to cast off); over-exaggerating (My dad told me a million times not to exaggerate. Couldn't resist.); the "hypo" thing I mentioned; being a former (and constantly tempted) cig-smoker; fantasy sports management and Braves fanaticism (important stuff); Matt the writer/tennis player/teacher; Matt the "Healer" (Myers-Briggs personality test thingy). Those are just a few.

I thought you might think this was valuable advice too. I know I'm guilty of the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing. Everybody is really. But just don't call it that from now on. Just be, man.

Beautiful part about it all is, in the words of another ole buddy, Nico, "All we got is time, mon ami. All we got is Time." Time to get better. Let's do it, yo?